Authors By Alphabet:  A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

All Quotes By Steven Wright.

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we kno...
I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put unde...
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all...
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time....
You can't have everything. Where would you put it...
A friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture of t...
The Meaning Of Life The reason that we're all here is that i...
What's another word for Thesaurus...
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land...
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect....
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted....
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the presc...
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. ...
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included....
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park ...
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it....
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it'...
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer...
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced eve...
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a ...
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the...
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you...